Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door..

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it..

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty..