One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not….

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives..

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him..

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I ….

Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working..

The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop..

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and….

Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day..

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink a….

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'..

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thom….

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, co….

It's one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succou….

I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marri….

You never see a pretty, unattached girl on a racecourse. But you often see positive gangs of rather unpretty ones. They are the owners or the owners'….

What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fasci….

My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday an….

I enjoy doing nothing..

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne..

Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring..

I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now..