I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me..

Let's say I was like, "I'm going to write a book this year," which I'm not. Let's just say that was it. Then it would be for the joy of writing it. I….

I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading..

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome y….

Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs..

I am just really focused in on what I love doing, but I would be a moron to not take some of my natural talent - I'm not saying I'm that talented, bu….

The whole notion that I don't appeal to the demographic - all my fans are young men. Someone asked me the other day, "So are your shows just full of ….

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll thin….

[Yoga] never calms me. Ever. But it certainly helps me prevent something..

I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take care….

Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want to have kids, ….

I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offende….

In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I toured a lot. I started as an opening ….

I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it..

There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, "I want….

My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aest….

My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and wo….

Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay..

Have you ever seen the stereotype of the angry yoga teacher? There are some people that are at an 11 and yoga takes them down to a nine. That's me..

I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy." We didn't even bel….

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me..