Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront ….

As I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was what I ate. And maybe if she'd let me eat ….

I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA..

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there..

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS..

You think you're so cool just because you can walk!.

I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us..

No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken..

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get m….

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps pur….

Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from ….

I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment..

Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his j….

The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25? I do. Gravity is no one's friend. Yet the per….

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting..

I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may….

Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we'll eve….

I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chi….

Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car of spe….

Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people..

Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So when I walk - nay, ….