I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face.

My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and sti….

As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking..

I don't think I'm successful..

I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at..

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up..

There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, yo….

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off..

I am best viewed from a distance..

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have ….

What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for me. I don'….

The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena..

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's….

I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet..

I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice..

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to h….

I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart..

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects..

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke..

Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable..

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager..