I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid..

After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shi….

I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice..

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's….

What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for me. I don'….

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off..

As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking..

Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable..

I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to h….

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have ….

There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, yo….

I am best viewed from a distance..

I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart..

I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet..

My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and sti….

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up..

I don't think I'm successful..

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager..

The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena..

I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at..