Can't punch women in the face!.

No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I'm a bad person, basically..

I have tried reading the Bible but that's a tough read there. I watch a lot of religious documentaries. I have a keen interest in religion for someon….

Before doing stand-up, I thought acting was easy - it's not easy. It's a hard life. It's easy in its own way, you just stand there and talk. But ther….

I've never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group..

I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It's always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won't laugh at a canc….

I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a redeeming moment, and have a sweet song pl….

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person..

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that a….

The thing about crazy people; they don't know they are crazy, that's what make them crazy..

In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own show - no one casts you. Yo….

I'm not scared of dying, because I'm an atheist. I won't even know I'm dead. You know why? Because I'll be fùckin' dead..

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking..

God built the world, but he did not know it was round..

Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots..

I wouldn't perform in front of the Nazis. I hear they didn't take freedom of speech too well. It would be a fun gig to rip into them, but I don't thi….

There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate w….

There's two types of hecklers. If someone says something really funny it's normally them heckling as part of the show. They're trying to add onto one….

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?.

I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and ….

As for basic jokes about sex and even my religious stuff, I don't find any problems with that, even if I'm gigging in the Bible Belt, because religio….