A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella..

It is the best of all games for me. It frequently escapes from the pattern of sport and assumes the form of a virile ballet. It is purer than any dan….

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.

He was the strangest of all our national sports idols. But not even his disagreeable character could destroy the image of his greatness as a ballplay….

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.

A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another..

I can't remember ever staying for the end of a movie in which the actors wore togas..

Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected..

A sportswriter is entombed in a prolonged boyhood..

He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe Ruth ma….

Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler..

I suspect guys who say, "I just send out for a sandwich for lunch," as lazy men trying to impress me..

[A knuckleball is] a curve ball that doesn't give a damn..

Ballplayers who are first to the dining room are usually last in batting averages..

Hockey would be a great game... if played in the mud..

Joe Louis is a credit to his race - the human race..

Rooting for the Yankees is like owning a yacht..

England produces the best fat actors..