Cleanse my heart... Give me the ability to rage correctly.

People think I write fantasy, but I don't; some things may be exaggerated or distorted in the same way that painters distort and alter things, but th….

Every luxury was lavished on you - atheism, breastfeeding, circumcision..

Civilizations have been founded and maintained on theories which refused to obey facts..

FAY: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. TRUSCOTT: That is a mistake which has been rectified..

Policemen, like red squirrels, must be protected..

The humble and meek are thirsting for lood.

The Oscar Wilde of Welfare State gentility..

God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes.

I'd the upbringing a nun would envy. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body..

With madness, as with vomit, it's the passerby who receives the inconvenience..

Reading isn't an occupation we encourage among police officers. We try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum..

The kind of people who always go on about whether a thing is in good taste invariably have very bad taste..

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin..

I'm too amused by the way people carry on to give in to despair..

On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, "Melancholia? Ad nauseam.".

It's all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present at the conception..