Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building..

There's no such thing as failure - just waiting for success..

That voice that cries out doesn't have to be a weakling's does it?.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs..

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years..

Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it..

Let's pretend that we're human beings and that we're actually alive..

Writers don't need love; all they require is money..

You see I learnt at an early age what it was to be angry - angry and helpless. And I can never forget it. I knew more about - love... betrayal... and….

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly..

They spend their time looking forward to the past..

Censorship is the commonest social blasphemy because it is mostly concealed, built into us by indolence, self-interest and cowardice..

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh..

Royalty is the gold filling in a mouthful of decay.

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator..

I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong..

Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt..

We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a check every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss..

Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of r….

Oh heavens, how I long for a little ordinary human enthusiasm. Just enthusiasm - that's all. I want to hear a warm, thrilling voice cry out Halleluja….

George Bernard Shaw writes like a Pakistani who has learned English when he was twelve years old in order to become an accountant..