A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself..

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well..

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE..

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying..

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large..

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn..

As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither..

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough..

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul..

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness..

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it..

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them..

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail..

When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road..

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected..

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition..

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't..

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust..

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there..

Men who have much to say use the fewest words..

Some folks are wise and some otherwise..