Explore Quotes by Josh Billings

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.

...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to Sell.

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.

The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess.

If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the beginning.

Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.

Advice maybe wrong, but examples prove themselves.

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our greatest obstacle.

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Occasions are rare; and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.