Explore Quotes by Josh Billings

To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up.

It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly.

[Science is] the literature of truth.

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.

Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, But four times he who gets his blow in fust

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.