It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you..

Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how amazing the people who write books are. Writers love writing books l….

Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective..

Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it..

Important days don't look like anything special when they start. Invariably, the sun rises and people wake up. Coffee is swilled and eggs are swallow….

It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it..

I have to start writing down things that happen, or I'll forget my life entirely..

I keep my TV writing and my book writing almost wholly separate. The audiences feel so different..

You have to know writing styles well before you can copy them - and then incorporate parts of them into your own style..

I read an awful lot in college - a lot of Dickens, a lot of 19th century American stuff, a lot of old mysteries. Maybe it's helped me attain a certai….

If you want to do this - either write for TV, or write books - the first thing you have to do is write a lot. And I mean a ridiculous amount..

I can't focus on any one day, because I always have to be ready for the next. It's fun but frenetic - like living in a circus that never stops perfor….

Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess..

All my businesses are scrupulously legal. Not because I have any moral problems with crime. It just makes my life easier to obey the law. Crime is fo….

I am amused when goody-goodies proclaim, from the safety of their armchairs, that children are naturally prejudice-free, that they only learn to "hat….

I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job..

I was an English major in college, though I ended up getting my degree in "General Stduies" because my grades were too bad to qualify for an English ….

According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches t….

The more you write, the faster you'll write, and the less you'll mind throwing stuff out..

You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons..

A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are,….