Occupation: Television Personality Birth: September 23, 1972
They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get ri….
I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture..
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine..
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit..
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out..
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding..
I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big question….
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle..
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things..
Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot..
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight..
If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?.
I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous..
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff..
There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on a….
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep..
I saw a bee have a heart attack..
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?.
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door..
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age..
I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off..