It might be marvelous to be a man - then I could stop worrying about what's fair to women and just cheerfully assume I was superior, and that they ha….

American patriotism is generally something that amuses Europeans, I suppose because children look idiotic saluting the flag and because the constitut….

Newish friends, if they get ghastly, can be weighed and found wanting, but you'd never do a thing like that to old ones; their terrible habits are ju….

As I look around the West End these days, it seems to me that outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in..

One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly ….

I suppose we all share this pipe-dream of being able to reach out a hand and find anything at will; what is amazing is that we think that good filing….

Perennials are the ones that grow like weeds, biennials are the ones that die this year instead of next and hardy annuals are the ones that never com….

There's comfort to an awful old dressing-gown a pretty peignoir is powerless to provide, and aging bra elastic, is, I suspect, as near to liberation ….

A good marriage is like Dr Who's Tardis: small and banal from the outside but spacious and interesting from within..

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it..

Whereas a lot of men used to ask for conversation when they really wanted sex, nowadays they often feel obliged to ask for sex even when they really ….

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally..

In hell they will bore you, in heaven you will bore them..

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts..

Spring makes everything look filthy..

No nice men are good at getting taxis..

[On Malcolm Muggeridge:] He thinks he was knocked off his horse by God, like St. Paul on the road to Damascus. His critics think he simply fell off i….

And what would happen to my illusion that I am a force for order in the home if I wasn't married to the only man north of the Tiber who is even untid….

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managi….

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it..

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life..