I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-u….

I'm basically always on tour..

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging..

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life..

I have a no-apology policy..

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly..

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun..

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners..

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come ou….

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice..

My act is based on my life..

I love to work. I love doing standup..

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnut….

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound..

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my p….

I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or your ovaries. I am a big believer o….

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh..

I love doing [stand-up]. I love making people laugh no matter how. Whether it's a commercial, or a TV show, or a reality show, or a talk show, or a s….

I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it ….

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. Bu….

I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this ….