It was very important thousands of years ago to categorize things. I can eat that plant, I can't eat that plant. Or this tribe, not that tribe. We do….

We[with Jordan Peele] wanted to do something with [Barack] Obama because we actually felt that Obama was kind of responsible for us even getting a sh….

There is no top. You are never going to reach the top if you go for success. That way lies madness..

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building….

I grew up watching British television because I lived so close to Canada..

[The rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio on set was raped by a bear] was as silly as Lady Gaga bumping him or moving his arm out of the way [at the Golden G….

You could figure out at least 80 percent of the context and meaning of a text if people used punctuation, and we wouldn't have had to write our sketc….

I'm racist against non-black people..

For me, as a child, I certainly thought that there were more black people in the world than white people..

Do what you love in your community..

There is nothing more dangerous on planet Earth than a black wife..

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it..

We've decided [with Jordan Peele] that we need to be on the Internet for a little bit of time every day to figure out what's going on. It feels like ….

Ricky Gervais changed our lives. And Mitch Hedberg, who we're like, "Oh, that's funny to me on a level I don't think I understand. But I'm clearly pl….

The fact of the matter is, you can't do comedy unless someone is behaving badly. Otherwise, it's not a comedy..

To make an absolutely gross generalization, I think a lot of people feel like if you're mixed, more often than not you're quote unquote white. So if ….

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to ….

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and….

I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny..

A poet can feel free, in my estimation, to write a poem for himself. Or a painter can paint a painting for himself. You can write a short story for y….

Surprise is not humor. I think that there can be a fine line there..