People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a mo….

Don't go where the puck's been; go where it's gonna be.

I liked hockey, and I still like hockey..

If there was no Internet, my career would have ended in 1995..

One man's frankness is another man's vulgarity..

Any book is a self-help guide if you can take something from it..

For years, my job was to make the movie inexpensively. And I could bring it in. What I can't control are the costs of marketing..

It's like a dream come true. When somebody is paying you to talk about yourself, you've won..

With what you don't know about me, I could just about fill the Grand Canyon..

I'm always cribbing from real life. I'm not a very creative filmmaker..

The writer crafts their ideal world. In my world, everyone has really long conversations or just picks apart pop culture to death and everyone talks ….

Why take life seriously? No one gets out alive anyways..

People like to set the bar high. I like to put the bar on the ground and barely step over it. I like to keep the expectations really low..

People have been telling me I'm a failure and that I'm doing it all wrong for 20 years now. Never trust anybody when they tell you how your story goe….

And George Carlin was a guy that the more he aged the younger he seemed..

Stoners are cute; junkies are sad..

More often than not, a hero’s most epic battle is the one you never see; it’s the battle that goes on within him or herself..

Dudes know I'm not a threat. Chicks know I'm not a threat..

AZRAEL: No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air..

In this life, if you don't celebrate yourself, nobody will..

I saw Richard Linklater's film 'Slacker' for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope..