If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. ….

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me..

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in you….

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex..

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write….

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies..

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies….

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost..

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty..

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free..

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on..

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you..

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life..

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your ….

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome..

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths..

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground..

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground..