Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists..

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity..

The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even y….

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of vio….

You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do so….

I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue..

We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more reali….

I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up..

I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online..

Philosophy is problem-solving. There's a philosophical problem, and then you try to solve it by approaching it from different angles and seeing what ….

I love constructive criticism. I love getting notes when I'm acting. I love them telling me what to do. I don't always agree with it, but I really ne….

It really helped to have someone whose taste I really trusted who I knew was really smart and a really good writer. Sometimes I find it hard to judge….

I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star!.

On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people..

Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was, geographically..

I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up..

I would say I try to make my comedy really personal. I try to tell stories that happened to me, experiences from my life..

My stories take three or four months to fix, and it's not magical of a process. Ultimately it's a boring, difficult process. I write everything out, ….

I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it..

I was on this path to becoming a computer-science guy, but I didn't like it. I got no joy from it. It was very, very scary. It was suffocating to thi….

I never really got into game shows. The easiest one is Wheel Of Fortune because you just have to know words, and for the most part everyone knows wor….