Lucille Ball

Women's Lib? Oh, I'm afraid it doesn't interest me one bit. I've been so liberated it hurts.

How to do half-hour comedy innovatively is something I do pride myself on. We invented it with 'I Love Lucy.'

Whether we're prepared or not, life has a habit of thrusting situations upon us.

Here's what I advise any young struggling actress today: The important thing is to develop as a woman first, and a performer second. You wouldn't prostitute yourself to get a part, not if_x000D_ you're in the right mind. You won't be happy, whatever you do, unless you're comfortable with your own conscience.

My ideal of womanhood has always been the pioneer woman who fought and worked at her husband's side. She bore the children, kept the home fires burning; she was the hub of the family, the planner and the dreamer.

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.

I regret the passing of the studio system. I was very appreciative of it because I had no talent.

I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not.

I never thought I was funny. I don't THINK funny.

I was shy for several years in my early days in Hollywood until I figured out that no one really gave a damn if I was shy or not, and I got over my shyness.

It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.

I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.

Ability is of little account without opportunity.

I cured myself of shyness when it finally occurred to me that people didn't think about me half as much as I gave them credit for. The truth was, nobody gave a damn. Like most teenagers, I was far too self-centered. When I stopped being prisoner to what I worried was others’ opinions of me, I became more confident and free.

Love yourself first and everything falls into line.

TV started for me just as a means of keeping my husband Desi off the road. He'd been on tour with his band since he got out of the Army, and we were in our 11th year of marriage and wanted to have children.

I am not funny. The writers were funny. My directors were funny. The situations were funny… What I am is brave. I have never been scared. Not when I did movies, certainly not when I was a model and not when I did I Love Lucy.

I don't think you should write a book until you tell the absolute truth. You can't do that until you're 85, and I don't want to live that long. I've always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way.

A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he's not very bright.

How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we'd profit from them.

In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.