Only the old are innocent. That is what the Victorians understood, and the Christians. Original sin is a property of the young. The old grow beyond c….

Marriage is the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world..

English history is all about men liking their fathers, and American history is all about men hating their fathers and trying to burn down everything ….

If God had been a liberal, we wouldn't have had the Ten Commandments - we'd have the Ten Suggestions..

If God had meant us to have group sex, I guess he'd have given us all more organs..

The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth..

Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife. Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find what ….

With sociology one can do anything and call it work.

I've often thought that my scruples about stealing books were the only thing that stood in the way of my being a really great scholar..

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.

You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes..

My experience of ships is that on them one makes an interesting discovery about the world. One finds one can do without it completely..

I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends..

The better class of Briton likes to send his children away to school until they're old and intelligent enough to come home again. Then they're too ol….

But you are involved in the world, and your actions have consequences for other people, and if you don't recognize that, then that's the supreme kind….

On many American campuses the only qualification for admission was the ability actually to find the campus and then discover a parking space..

I like the English. They have the most rigid code if immorality in the world..

Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail..

To put it another way: a conference is an elite meeting on equal terms; a congress is a group of elites meeting on opposite terms; a convention is a ….

Here we have a saying: a good friend is someone who visits you when you are in prison. But a really good friend is someone who comes to hear your lec….

The whole point of marriage is to stop you getting anywhere near real life. You think it's a great struggle with the mystery of being. It's more like….