I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet..

I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work….

My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting….

I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me..

I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me f….

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty..

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry..

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window..

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere..

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop ….

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing a….

If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't yo….

We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good..

I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope..

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite.

I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening..

Time flies when you are anxious!.

Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices..

People get really irritated by mental illness..

Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough..

Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!.