Mark Twain

Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

Every improvement that is put upon the real estate is the result of an idea in somebody's head. The skyscraper is another idea; the railroad is another; the telephone and all those things are merely symbols which represent ideas. An andiron, a wash-tub, is the result of an idea that did not exist before.

Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. As in the words of Wayne Dyer, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Sometimes to know with certainty that a particular thing is "true", will actually be the very thing that keeps you from attaining the things you seek to achieve.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. So many look to eradicate fear from their lives, when that is an impossible task. You can certainly experience moments in absence of fear, however accept that fear will be with you whenever you are in the process of living creatively. The challenge is to go ahead regardless, simply notice the feeling and manage being courageous.

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.

It is better to give than receive- especially advice.

Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.

Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.

A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.

One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.

Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.

I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

In America-as elsewhere-free speech is confined to the dead.

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.