[On Italy:] ... the country where kindness to strangers is a religion, you can't turn your head without seeing something beautiful, and you can't get….

[On George H.W. Bush vs. Michael Dukakis:] Americans now know they can vote for a man who can't express his thoughts or a man who can't express his f….

[On Senator Everett Dirksen:] His great enemy was boredom and he won every engagement..

And the propensity of weak and empty people to follow a leader into the darkness from which there is no return is still flourishing, as ever..

Appliances have idiosyncracies, just like us. Unfortunately they have picked up our less attractive traits - they are proud, spiteful, and unforgivin….

[On men:] On their best days, the best of them are eight years old..

I am hoping for better times. That's how you know us hapless gardeners - by our dirty fingernails and our absurd, unquenchable optimism about next ye….

You need the will to disarm the civilian population. If we can do it in Somalia, we can do it here..

Baseball has a special place in our hearts. It is the game that shows us as we would like to be..

If there is a secret to writing, I haven’t found it yet. All I know is you need to sit down, clear your mind, and hang in there..

Anyone who has undergone home repair lately knows that your everyday artisan uses language so loosely and makes false promises so glibly as to make y….

We have a new class in this country: the deserving rich. ... The deserving rich do nice things for each other. Comforting the unafflicted is somethin….

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become..

[On George H.W. Bush:] A man who wishes to lead the Western world should be able to find the right words, string them together in coherent sentences,….

Dogs, bless them, operate on the premise that human beings are fragile and require incessant applications of affection and reassurance. The random li….

Human sacrifice is much in vogue right now. The Republican right thinks that people who get on its nerves, especially women, should be sent to the st….

My friend Phil has a theory that the Lord, having made teenagers, felt constrained to make amends and so created the golden retriever..