I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence..

I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud..

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'.

I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being..

The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your partner. A thank you or a quick kiss can go a lon….

The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is ….

I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands..

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is..

So my reaction to hearing this corny-ass, horrible song ["With Arms Wide Open" by Creed] is violent, uncontrollable, sustained weeping..

There is something about the human condition. I don't think dogs are like "If only I was a poodle instead of a golden retriever, I'd be totally happy….

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse..

As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do somet….

You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of rules there, literal and implied….

I'm enough of an optimist and a patriot to believe that in U.S. you have a lot of opportunity and can do pretty much anything you want in some form. ….

Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next..

The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead..

As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It'….

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic, but don't give it more attention than it deserves..

I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. ….

When you're writing something, and you're putting yourself out there, or you're performing and someone comes in and savages that, then of course it f….

Super excited about things I'm going to do; never excited about things I'm actually doing..