A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now..

My life needs editing..

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!.

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy..

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely..

That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters..

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father..

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy..

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen..

Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a ne….

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred..

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you ….

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason..

The bravest thing that men do is love women..

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs y….

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next nig….

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg..

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clin….

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference..

Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole..

I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?.