Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There….

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity..

Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's p….

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's..

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing..

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic..

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe..

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading..

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise..

All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time..

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay atte….

Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don….

It's a human instinct to be known..

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine..

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist..

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks..

I don't see the point of watching men exercise..

For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many t….

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't u….