Imagine a wall that's green on one side and red on the other. You stand on one side and only see green. I stand on the other side and only see red. W….

Some guys like to undermine a girl's self-esteem with little verbal jabs. Eventually it all adds up. One bee sting doesn't hurt a horse, but enough b….

A fish tank is just interactive television for cats..

Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born..

Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in deat….

Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves..

It's better to dance like a fool, than to stand around like an idiot..

A cow's heaven is a flower's idea of hell..

Books like Twilight are not art. They are mass-produced crap that is meant to be consumed by the widest possible audience, for the largest possible p….

Just because everyone CAN publish a book these days, doesn't mean everyone SHOULD. The world doesn't need 1000 knock-offs of 50 Shades of Grey. I'm n….

Getting life insurance is like making a bet you can't win. If you live, you don't get the money. If you die, you don't get to enjoy the money..

Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates..

Life is like the ocean. You can either be the ball floating on the waves, or make your own waves..

You only live once, so enjoy the ride..