A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often..

A pest is a person who can talk like an encyclopedia, and does..

An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it..

If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs..

There is always room at the top - after the investigation..

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families..

My wife has a whim of iron..

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it..

Song is the licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech..

A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well..

I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan..

Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow..

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony..

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan..