Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky..

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They wer….

Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it..

Cars would be safer on rails!.

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper..

Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since..

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet..

I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclea….

The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion - very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly arrived half an hour afte….

One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling..

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother..

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present..

A lot of things work better in a locomotive..

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people ….

Whenever people tell you they are going to wipe the slate clean, it's your slate they mean to wipe..

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages..

If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic c….

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased..

East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory..

I try to ONLY ridicule people who's efforts are sincere. Very little trouble has been caused in the world by insincere efforts. An occasional seducti….

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with..