I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me..

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won..

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour..

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time….

I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I do….

My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're….

It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making pe….

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years..

At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraugh….

Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way..

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is….

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't do….

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?.

The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear..

Have you ever had sex with a horse?.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?.

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it..

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties..

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous genera….

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy..

And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh..