The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed tog….

I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down..

Happiness is the quiet lull between problems..

It turns out most of the conclusions that I've come to in life have equally valid contradictions. I think it's true you need to make a plan, set a go….

Once in a while you get a moment of clarity - an inspiration - and they don't come that frequently..

If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts..

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push..

When my son said, "I can't stop thinking about girls," I said, "That's not gonna stop. Congratulations. You're in the club. From now until the day yo….

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption..

I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just ….

She kind of reminds one of Helen. There's something very similar about Elizabeth Perkins..

There's something very refreshing about being on stage..

It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. ….

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like so….

It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're….

I've come to realize that making it your life's work to be different than your parents is not only hard to do, it's a dumb idea. Not everything we fo….

The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a c….

I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me.

That's the nice thing about doing stand-up. There's no development, you just go out there and get an immediate response as to whether something is go….

People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between y….

When you get busy, the priorities change. In your twenties, you hang out with who you were in school with. Then you grow up and you hang out with the….