One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it..

All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways,….

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it..

I would like to like to make one thing clear at the very outset and that is, when you speak of a train robbery, this involved no loss of train, merel….

I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully..

All in all I'd rather have been a judge than a miner. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do ….

You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it..

Playing rugby at school I once fell on a loose ball and, through ignorance and fear, held on despite a fierce pummelling. After that it took me month….

The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there..

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are..

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again..

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie..

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal..

The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room..

I've had some wonderful ideas for getting the dominating going. I've got some extremely subtle advertising slogans that should get the public behind ….

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very….

Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony..

We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages..

I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. But all I've got hold of are the trappings of great poverty. I've got hold of the wrong load of….

I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Li….