Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart..

Sometimes I write drunk and revise sober, and sometimes I write sober and revise drunk. But you have to have both elements in creation — the Apolloni….

The trouble with treating people as equals is that the first thing you know they may be doing the same thing to you..

Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter..

The idea of a Supreme Being who creates a world in which one creature is designed to eat another in order to subsist, and then pass a law saying, "Th….

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school..

We pay for security with boredom, for adventure with bother..

I can still hear my mother wailing over some new kitchen crisis, "Oh God," and my father answering cozily from the silo, "Were you calling me, dear?.

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music..

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse..

Exercise is an unnatural act..

A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else..

Rather than waste precious time arguing, I went up and started serving my "sentence" without delay. It was usually about an hour for epigrams; somewh….