Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!.

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!.

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!.

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!.

Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!.

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping..

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!.

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!.

Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!.

E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!.

Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!.

Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way..

Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!.

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!.

Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!.

Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear. Never got a dinner!.

Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”.

Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!.

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!.

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?".

George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!.