Occupation: Comedian Birth: June 25, 1961
Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals.
If all the Atheists & Agnostics left America, they'd lose 93% of The National Academy of Sciences & less than 1% of the prison population..
Since there is absolutely no logical reason to assume there is an afterlife, I decided to make the life I have now as much fun as possible..
I've got the attention span of a child..
You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a fil….
I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces..
I know how much embarrassment hurts, and I love it as a theme because you can keep digging a hole. It's just an endless well, embarrassment..
You can just keep getting it worse until you have to pull back and let the audience breathe. But yeah, I really love digging..
I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer, and pizza are….
The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth..
In a safe Western world where we're not being shot at and we're not starving, the worst thing that happens to us most days is someone's rude to us, o….
I think the social faux par is probably what most people fear... more people fear public speaking than death and that's because we don't want to make….
I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens..
I've got three friends that you'd call famous, but I'm sure after 20 years, most of my friends will be famous or work in television, because that's t….
The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either..
Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say ….
Being honest is what counts. To make the ordinary extraordinary is so much better than starting with the extraordinary..
I'm not a person that's easily embarrassed, but I'm embarrassed for other people..
Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming….
Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they w….
I still see myself as a bit of a cottage industry. Being in a room creating stuff and seeing if anyone wants it, as opposed to going to work for some….