If you have a child who is seven feet tall, you don't cut off his head or his legs. You buy him a bigger bed and hope he plays basketball..

Titanic I thought was the most dreadful piece of work I've ever seen in my entire life. Another film that I think is equally bad was American Beauty.….

Wisdom and love have nothing to do with each other. Wisdom is staying alive, survival. You're wise if you don't stick your finger in the light plug. ….

[The Player is] not a truthful indictment of Hollywood. It's much uglier than I portrayed it, but nobody would've been interested if I'd shown just h….

People have asked me throughout the years which directors have influenced me. I don't know their names, because I was mostly influenced when I'd see ….

What is a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority..

I don't know what "Altmanesque" means, though I suppose I'm flattered by it..

Filmmaking is a chance to live many lifetimes..

Every ad for every film is exactly the same..

[M*A*S*H] didn't get released by FOX, it escaped..

The artist and the multitude are natural enemies. They always will be, both ways. The artist is an enemy of the multitude, and the multitude is the e….

It's all just one film to me. Just different chapters..

Jazz has endured because it doesn't have a beginning or an ending. It's a moment..

I've never had a big hit movie. "MASH" was probably the biggest. I don't make those kind of films, and I never have. I wish each one of them would ju….

You will never see'Altman's Great Film of the Seventies: The Director's Cut' because you have never seen a film of mine that wasn't the director's cu….

I have never made a movie that's attracted a 14-year-old boy..

I like audiences to crane their necks..

I was a heavy drinker, but the alcohol affected my heart rather than my liver. So I stopped. I smoke grass now. I say that to everybody, because mari….

Chance is another name that we give to our mistakes. And all of the best things in my films are mistakes..

Retirement? You're talking about death, right?.

If George W. Bush is elected president, I'm leaving for France..