You're your kid's partner, not the person who's pulling all the strings..

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp….

My advice to educators is collaborate with parents; they know a lot about their kids..

For a very long time, people have been saying to me, "What if you want to do this approach with every kid?" For a behaviorally challenging kid, you'r….

Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectat….

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge..

Everybody is talking about the behavior. Behaviors float downstream to us. We need to paddle upstream. The problems that are causing the behaviors, t….

Be your kid's collaborative partner, but also be a collaborative partner with the folks at school. Schools can be pretty unilateral too. Show them yo….

Being completely in control is a fantasy..

It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode..

Most parents are accustomed to dealing with problems in the heat of the moment..

The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is ha….

Solutions can't be imposed. That just fosters resentment..

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars ….

Over 18 years of us solving problems together, my daughter has shown me that she's got a good head on her shoulders, that she is pretty good at solvi….

People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resili….

It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things..

We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced..

A lot of parents aren't exactly sure how to go about solving a problem with a kid in a way that's mutually satisfactory - doing that with their child….

If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick..

Parents are much more likely to be attuned to what they don't like than they are to the expectations that the kid is having difficulty meeting..