Occupation: Humorist Birth: February 1, 1904 Death: October 17, 1979
All right, so call me Miss Cliche of 1960, but the thing about the married ones that always spooks me is how sweet and attentive they are at first, w….
I'm half Scotch-Irish on both sides, and when I lose my temper-brother, I go..
There are nineteen words in Yiddish that convey gradations of disparagement, from a mild, fluttery helplessness to a state of downright, irreconcilab….
If travel has taught me nothing more, and it certainly has, it's this: you never know when some trifling incident, utterly without significance, may ….
To err is human, to forgive supine..
Where would the Rockefellers be today if old John D. had gone on selling short-weight kerosene ... to widows and orphans instead of wisely deciding t….
FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a horoscope, there's a ….
We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries..
You'll have to leave my meals on a tray outside the door because I'll be working pretty late on the secret of making myself invisible, which may take….
A basic ingredient in the manufacture of perfume, the attar-a heavy, pale-yellow oil stored in small metal drums-had been put up as collateral by Bul….
As for consulting a dentist regularly, my punctuality practically amounted to a fetish. Every twelve years I would drop whatever I was doing and allo….
I loathe writing. On the other hand I'm a great believer in money..
I cannot recall a more engaging passage in fiction, and I've been trying for almost eighteen seconds..
I don't know where we're going or how we'll get there, but when we get there we'll be there - and that's something, even if it's nothing..
English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth..
Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it..
I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartets, chamber music, and cantatas..
The worst disgrace that can befall a producer is an unkind notice from a New York reviewer. When this happens, the producer becomes a pariah in Holly….
I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous ….
Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck..
If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I've written, I feel the day hasn't been totally wasted..