Occupation: Comedian Birth: October 25, 1980
The biggest strength is being able to have perspective. Get the distance, and it enables you to be able to laugh at yourself..
If you buy my book at Walmart, I don't want you to read it. I want you to set it on fire. Because that's what you just did with your money. When you ….
In the short term, it absolutely feels devastating to break a bond of friendship. In the long term, it is the best possible thing. You're actually do….
I used to think that having lots of friends meant that you were happy. That's really not true. Having the right friends means that you're happy..
I've discovered that every time I've reached a milestone I think I'm there, but there's another there waiting for me..
If friends are taking more from you than they're giving, it doesn't matter if they are in the throes of addiction. It does not matter if they are sui….
It's time to hand back responsibility for being an adult to everyone in the situation. You're not helping anybody by staying in a romantic relationsh….
What I really wanted wasn't what I thought I was supposed to want. It wasn't what people had told me I should want or that books and movies and TV ha….
It's like there's this knowledge hanging in the air that one person has more power than the other, and we're supposed to pretend everything is nice a….
When you're mired in the depths of depression, it's impossible to believe that anything can get better, but it can and it will. Seek out low-cost or ….
I think that if you want help from somebody, you ask. You ask not expecting anyone to give it to you, unless it is a friend or a loved one with whom ….
When I go to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, they have wonderful topiary in the shapes of characters. I apply the principle to my life. "Prun….
Most people don't want to work with liars. They'll work with a liar if the liar makes them money and gives them credit, but not if a person's lying e….
When you're disappointed romantically - when people evolve or they move on, when somebody doesn't love you in the same way anymore or you don't love ….
Happy to me is not what I thought happy was. Happy is actually better, because it includes room for sadness. A definition of success must leave room ….
I do not, right now in this moment today, want to be married. After entertaining proposals, researching the cost of a wedding, and looking at friends….
One of the best practices in the manual of human existence is to assist people who need help when you can safely do so. The best people help those wh….
The world will not give you an endowment for your finger-painting. Your finger-painting may be marvelous, but our government and society do not value….