The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart..

You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to..

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing ….

And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now..

I am 39 years old, and I still wake up every morning really excited I don't have to go to school..

I do enjoy and feel compelled to talk about things that are taboo. One, because I think I'm a troublemaker inside, if someone says, "Don't say that,"….

Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipp….

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second..

If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean..

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated.

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill..

I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what….

I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin..

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't..

We don't live in a democracy; we live in a hypocrisy..

Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying,….

Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because you're afraid o….

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore..

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive..

I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do..