Sarah Silverman

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.