90% of toys are made in china, which technically makes the chinese elves.

when michael jackson died i wonder if his life flashed before him and if it did, i wonder if he thought 'who's that little black kid singing my songs….

people say churches are half empty, they're not, they're too big.

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet..

Cheryl Cole got malaria...well I guess that answers the question what do you give someone who has everything.

A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes..