I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'g….

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars..

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space..

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick..

My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy..

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun..

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen..

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting..

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration..

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that..

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes..

When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost a….

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders..

If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with..

I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first..

Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying..

A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know ….

We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats..

The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like….

I recently forced myself to read a book on quantum physics, just to try and learn something new. I was confused by the middle of the first sentence a….

Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or fo….