The best way of getting into something is to think of it as mischief..

Scientists used to do an experiment whereby a dog's repeated reward for performing a task was unaccountably replaced by punishment. The dog, knowing ….

One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of God's existence..

What’s life in this nation? Collect emptiness in a household of cornflakes. Transient fuel gobbles attention, the television aches, the truth walks. ….

What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?.

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once.

Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader's senses.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer..

Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it..

Sanity’s a virginity of the mind.

In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that..

How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?.

The law is where reality goes to die..

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails.

I knew books could see people around them, they ground their tiny teeth, tried to rattle like windows, stories to tell..

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile..

Satire works in a bunch of specific ways, like a very precisely-geared bomb. It's a bit like something that looks harmless, and you swallow it, but o….

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death..

In books there's nothing of the fish covered in the coldness of the sea, or the feeling of a star touching space. Bad for business..

Gun stripping is the tea ceremony of America..

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something..