Sylvia Plath

I had decided I would put off the novel until I had gone to Europe and had a lover.

A terrible depression yesterday. Visions of my life petering out into a kind of soft-brained stupor from lack of use.

The woman is perfected. Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment.

I guess they call it suicide, but I'm to full to swallow my pride I can't stand losing you The Police Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

With that strange knowing that comes over me, like a clairvoyance, I know that I am sure of myself and my enormous and alarmingly timeless love for you; which will always be.

Only I wasn't steering anything, not even myself.

The silence between us was so profound I thought part of it must be my fault.

As I lay on my back in bed staring up at the blank, white ceiling the stillness seemed to grow bigger and bigger until I felt my eardrums would burst with it.

I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions.

Dying Is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.

I thought how strange it had never occurred to me before that I was only purely happy until I was nine years old.

A million years of evolution, Eric said bitterly, and what are we? Animals.

Then I thought, "No, I broke it myself. I broke it on purpose to pay myself back for being such a heel.

That afternoon my mother had brought me the roses. "Save them for my funeral," I'd said.

My worst habit is my fear & my destructive rationalizing.

What I cannot forgive is dishonesty - and no matter what, or how hard, I would rather know the truth of which I today had such a clear & devastating vision from his mouth than hear foul evasions, blurrings and rattiness.

I am disabused of all faith, and see too clearly.

I must not be selfless: develop a sense of self. A solidness that can't be attacked.

I have been holding a dialogue with myself and girding myself to stand fast without running.

I suppose I'll always be over-vulnerable, slightly paranoid.