Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

There are things around, and I know where they can be got quite easily, but I quite like waking up to the sunshine.

I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.

I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called 'The Truth'.

It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and the other was knowing I had Alzheimer's.

It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.

Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine.

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?

There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.

Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.

It's still magic even if you know how it's done.

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.

In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].