I don't ban bloggers from my shows. I have a separate line: VIP seating for bloggers..

I will not be misquoted!.

I like Cilantro, but you don't have to..

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act..

I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that.

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days..

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.

If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts..

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable..

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport..

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you c….

I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started.

Comedy clubs are a bit more expensive. That's the problem with some of these places. But the flipside of that is, if you do too many shows for free o….

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something t….

Anyone who bombs is my friend..

People in New York love having roof parties..

There are certain things that are probably too mean. I don't particularly like fat jokes. Those kind of bother me. But I guess what I was trying to s….

I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid..

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward..

It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special..